noon pony giant sycamore

waiting for an extremely intelligent alcoholic at an airport having arrived an hour early because the train moved too fast

what does my life consist of
is this a ‘physical’ existence
is there something ‘spiritual’ or ‘metaphysical’ about this
the number of times that i stop thinking completely each day
is four
i feel separate from everything for no reason
there is no reason for my feeling separate
when i am inside of a tall building or in a clearing in a forest
i think ‘this exists’
and don’t question anything at all
i become ‘completely stupid’ when it is convenient for my mood
i do things that i consider ‘completely stupid’
when i am around people i think are ‘somewhat stupid’
because they are more fun when they don’t think that you are smarter
or think that you think that you are smarter than them
but i am a huge snob
and an ‘out of control asshole’
where did this start
why do i think that this might have started
i feel chilly

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